


the voice inside

by poketa



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, F/F, the sleep paralysis demon au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23852806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poketa/pseuds/poketa
Summary: It starts with a dream.Quinn is fifteen years old, the first time it happens and she isn't sure what causes it but suddenly, everything is pitch black and her lungs feel heavy, it feels like she's dreaming but she can see her room, can see her desk and chair at the other side of the bed - clearly this is her room.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	the voice inside

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on a ridiculous idea from twitter and it will have two parts.
> 
> TW: sleep paralysis.

* * *

It starts with a _dream_.

Quinn is fifteen years old, the first time it happens and she isn't sure what causes it but suddenly, everything is pitch black and her lungs feel heavy, it feels like she's dreaming but she can see her room, can see her desk and chair at the other side of the bed - clearly this is her room.

Her chest is weighted down by something but she can't move her fingers, she can't move her legs, Quinn tries to open up her mouth and even that, it doesn't happen.

She thinks she's dreaming, maybe as far as vivid dreaming but then she sees it, at the end of the bed, sitting, looking back at Quinn with a smile and really vivid eyes and it hits Quinn that she isn't dreaming.

Dreaming definitely doesn't feel like a scream wants to run out of her lungs and escape - like she's having a panic attack.

The shadow stares at her and it's morbid how it doesn't have anything, but eyes and a smile.

_"Hello, Quinn"_ the shadow greets her and Quinn's heart beats quick and heavy under her flesh. She wants to scream and yell for help, but her voice doesn't come out of her throat and her body doesn't cooperate " _Don't be scared, I'm not gonna hurt you"_ the shadow says and Quinn wants to believe it, she wants it to be true, but the panic is settling and as the seconds pass by, the more it feels like this shadow will just slit her throat and then have a good laugh about it.

Quinn closes her eyes, but not even inside her own confines of her mind she is safe as the voice speaks and this time it feels like it's even closer to her.

It's settling her skin cold and freezing.

" _Open your eyes, sweetie"_ the voice says and why it's a melodic voice, why it sounds like a teenage girl is talking to her - if Quinn weren't so _fucking_ scared at the moment, she would be wondering about the implications of having a female voice talking to her during her dreams or better said, her _nightmares_.

But Quinn is pretty much having a heart attack and it doesn't help that the minute she opens her eyes, the shadow is even closer and the smile is even more prominent than before.

" _See? Now that wasn't so hard"_

Quinn moves her eyes away from the shadow to the wall and away, but it seems like anywhere she looks, those eyes and that smile is looking back at her.

It's suffocating, it's burdened, Quinn wants to wake up.

It's the worst torture she has endured in her life and Quinn feels the tears running down her cheeks as she tries to scream to the shadow, but no sound makes it out of her mouth.

_"Shhhh Quinn, calm down, it's okay"_

Quinn tries to shake her head, because obviously this is not okay, her heart is close to running away from her body and her body doesn't cooperate at all. Not to mention that the only consolation she can find during this fucking nightmare is being given by a freaking shadow that seems to be enjoying her suffering with a freaking big smile.

She closes her eyes and opens it again, sometimes when you try that, you wake up sooner.

But Quinn does it and the shadow is now pretty much sitting beside her on the bed and she wants to scream and yell, but all she can do is blink and _cry_.

" _It will be okay, you'll be okay"_

The voice repeats it over and over, Quinn just manages to close her eyes even tighter, but the shadow is now a glooming presence and she feels it, icy, beside herself on the bed.

Quinn knows that if she would just open her eyes, it would be just darkness, those eyes and _that_ damned smile looking back at her - she can't see it again.

So, she manages to keep her eyes closed for _god knows_ how long and finally, Quinn wakes up.

" _Oh my god_ " 

She breathes out, holding a hand to her chest and feeling her racing heart trying to run free from her body. Her pajamas are drenched in sweat and perspiration, cold and wet, sticking the fabric to her body.

Beyond scared, Quinn looks everywhere, at every corner of her room, every inch she can observe, but there aren't any eyes or one big smile glaring back at her from the shadows.

It takes a while, but finally her heart settles and her breathing settles to a more normal pattern.

The voice of her _dream_ repeats again and again, it's both the most comforting sound she has ever heard and the most unsettling sound she has ever heard.

_It will be okay, you'll be okay._

Quinn shakes her head, trying to clear her vision "It was a dream, I'm alright" she says to herself, falling against the pillow behind herself "I'll be alright" Quinn repeats, just out of breath, squeezing her eyes shut.

But deep down, something just tells her this is just the beginning of something _bigger_ than just a bad dream.

* * *

  
  


The next time it happens, it's after sleeping with Puck and Quinn blames him and his stupid manwhore ways for causing her this _experience_ again.

_"Long time no see, Quinn"_

The voice startles her and Quinn tries to move her body away from the shadows, but to no use since she can't move it, like at all.

The eyes and that smile stares back at her and Quinn swallows tightly against the ever growing feeling of dread and fear that is burning down her throat.

" _I missed you"_ the voice whispers against her ear and she shivers with disgust as it touches down her skin and throat " _Did you miss me too?"_

Quinn wants to scream a big and not surprising _no_ , but her mouth doesn't cooperate and she just finds herself trying to glare at the shadow with all the hate she can muster with her eyes.

The eyes never stop looking at her and the smile never wavers, if anything, it feels like it's settling even more like a default expression.

At least, this time she knows what to expect, even if the fear is still the same.

It settles against her body like a deadweight, her lungs heave with difficulty and Quinn tries her best to remain calm as the eyes and smile move closer to her.

_'You're not real'_

After the first time it happened, Quinn searched the matter. She typed ' _dreaming while being conscious but can't move your body'_ and then added a second later ' _strange dark presence observing me'_

_'Sleep paralysis'_ Google said '... _the use of certain medications, stress, and other sleep-related problems, such as narcolepsy, may also play a role'_

Stress _._

Of course, Quinn has been under a constant state of distress her whole life but - _why now?_

Alright - maybe it has a little to do with the fact that her mother had been asking about _boys_ and _dating_ , that Frannie is getting married soon and her mother has been way too curious about her love life but being curious never pays well for her.

Because after sleeping with Puck, all Quinn could think about is _how much she never wanted it to do again._

_"What's the matter, Quinn?"_

The shadow looms over her with that smile and those dark eyes that keep her on the brink of a heart attack, these eyes that just freeze her over.

Quinn tries to scream at the shadow, but it's fruitless, just like the first time, her voice doesn't come out.

The shadow frowns briefly but the smile doesn't waver.

_"I'm not supposed to do this but - if you ever want to talk about something…"_

The voice is uncertain and Quinn wonders if this is supposed to be part of the torture, pretending to care for Quinn just to drop it a second after and go back to being creepy and smiley at her.

Quinn definitely prefers the creepy smiling and staring.

She tries to shake her head, but it's useless, her head is staying in place.

Quinn closes her eyes and counts, tries to make her breath go quieter, Google said that not every sleep paralysis has the same duration, maybe if she's lucky enough this one will stop soon and Quinn can go back to her usual dreams. 

Dreams that consist of things she's afraid to think about anywhere else outside her bedroom.

The panic begins to start again on her chest and this time it has nothing to do with the shadow looming over her bed but the thoughts swirling around her mind.

Having Finn as her boyfriend makes her uncomfortable, she doesn't like kissing him, when his hands touch underneath her skirt, it feels like she's always too seconds away from crying.

She thought it was a matter of him, just him, she didn't like him enough, maybe Quinn needed another boy.

But then she kissed Puck and her stomach churned with the same feeling.

_His hands are rougher, but his movements are more controlled, he knows what he is doing and Quinn tries to like it. She concentrates on the touch of skin, on the kissing of her neck, on the feeling of his words on her skin._

_But it feels wrong and she closes her eyes, swallowing her tears as he touches her where Finn has always wanted to touch her, but she has never let him._

_His touch feels just as wrong, Quinn wants to push him away and yell at Puck to get out, but she needs this, she needs to go all the way to prove herself - to prove she isn't -_

_That she can't be._

_"You know it's not a sin, right?"_

Quinn opens her eyes and the shadow is staring straight back at her, the smile is still there, the eyes too, but they don't hold the same mocking tone they had before, if anything, they look _open._

And Quinn knows it can be a play, the demon could be playing her just to make Quinn keep her guard down and then to attack her mercilessly and torture her in her sleep.

Demons love mind games and Quinn won't fall for it and luckily for her, isn't like she can reply _at all_ and it means she can just stare back at the smiling demon and wait for this mindfuck to be over.

" _I can hear your thoughts, you know"_ The voice says and it's quiet, like a secret, but it's loud to Quinn, who swallows uncomfortably and closes her eyes tightly, there's no way she will let that demon get to her over this " _And I'm not supposed to tell you, but it seems like you are already having a hard time dealing with yourself"_

_'Fuck you'_

It's a simple thought, pretty concise, Quinn hopes it gets to the smiling demon quite clearly.

_"Now that's pretty rude, I'm just trying to help"_ the voice replies and the way it sounds like it's more than a little offended makes Quinn frown as she fights with the invisible bounds keeping her body quiet and glares at the smiling demon.

_'Don't need it, don't want it'_ Quinn replies bitterly as she closes her eyes and starts a headcount, sometimes counting and getting a hold of your breathing can help you stop the paralysis.

When she opens her eyes again, the demon is gone, the shadows of her room are just shadows and Quinn can finally move her arms and sigh deeply.

The sweat is running down her forehead and pooling around her body, she's shaking and Quinn knows it's not just because of the sleep paralysis.

Quinn realized something while dreaming and it makes her finally break into sobs, burying her head into her pillow as she shakes and trembles.

After sleeping with Puck, she definitely knows that she isn't attracted to men and she definitely _is._

* * *

  
  


It doesn't surprise Quinn when it happens a third time, she has been under way too much stress lately.

Finn is paying attention to other girls, Puck is looking at her with puppy eyes across the hall and her weight has been going up like crazy.

Her eyes open and the shadow is standing over her, looming over the couch, because yes, this time she is sleeping on the couch when it happens and Quinn wonders idly if any of her parents will come home soon and find her panicking in a semi conscious sleeping state.

She also wonders, what will they even do? Would they care? Would they get mad at her for falling asleep on the couch after class?

She knows the answers and those grip her heart tightly.

_"Good afternoon, Quinn, how are you?"_

The voice greets idly and the maniacal smiling and way too open eyes are just like always there but they don't make her panic.

She wonders when she started being more comfortable around a demon than her own parents, but then her parents would kick her out if they found out the truth about her, meanwhile this demon knows the truth and has been almost _respectful_ towards her.

For a demon, it's a pretty well mannered one.

_'Tired'_ Quinn thinks shortly and she rolls her eyes for good measure _'But sleeping on the couch did rat me out, right?'_

_"Sure did"_ The voice comments amicably _"nice living room by the way"_ and it's so strange to be talking with this evil being that Quinn frowns at the nonchalance.

_'Aren't you supposed to be scaring me or something?'_ Quinn wonders as she watches the shadow linger by the other side of the couch, she can't feel her legs but the shiver still runs as she thinks about the proximity of this being to her body.

_"I should, but it looks like your troubles are spooking you enough"_

Quinn tries to shake her head, but yeah, she still can't move her body in her sleep _'Whatever'_ she thinks simply, dismissing the interest of the demon and Quinn just closes her eyes and begins to practice her breathing.

By now, she already knows some ways to escape these situations and it seems like it's working.

_"Going so soon?"_

Quinn almost feels like laughing, but not like she could even make a sound, so it's pretty much fruitless.

_"I'll miss you"_

The shadow says and the way the voice wavers makes Quinn really want to crack open her eyes and send an eye roll to the demon, but she's reaching consciousness and it's better to grab it now.

_'Bye'_

Quinn wakes up with a start.

She puts a hand to her heart and breathes out deeply in and out. Her phone says it had been less than a ten minute nap and she chuckles nervously.

Passing her free hand through her hair, Quinn sits against the sofa and breathes out again.

Maybe it's time to make some decisions as her heart doesn't stop going like crazy against her chest. 

Quinn caresses her poliester clad stomach and dials the number closing her eyes " _Hey_ " she breathes out into the speaker as the other side picks up.

" _Quinn?"_

Finn sounds distracted with his own whereabouts and Quinn opens her eyes with wariness.

"We have to _talk_ " The blonde declares, because she can't keep the charade up for longer than this, kissing him makes her stomach revolts and her latest dream just confirms her necessities to cut loose some _things._

The truth can't go out like this - none of it - not the part about having sex with Puck and even less the one about why she did it, but if she knows about life, it that something has to give soon enough and it won't be her or her deepest secret.

"We are done" Quinn speaks into the phone, the finality feels dry on her lips, but necessary and she closes her eyes "I can't keep doing this" she comments and it feels like she's talking about more than just them, but Finn is dumb enough to not pick on that.

And, apparently, he is also dumb enough to try to fight her decision.

"What - what are you talking about Quinn?" Finn replies and the sudden quietness of the background tells her he just walked onto his backyard "Did something happen?"

"I saw you and Santana" She replies lamely, but firmly.

It's a weak argument, she knows about Santana and Brittany, has known for the longest time, how can she not when they have been inseparable since the day they met?

He's a pawn in a game to keep herself afloat and near the crown, in that way, Santana and her are more similar that they both like to admit.

"How - _how_?" Finn asks rather confusedly and Quinn just sighs as he continues "We didn't even - Quinn, this isn't what you think!" he argues quickly but she just swallows with a bitter smile as this plays before her eyes.

She can distinguish between real and unreal, even if her dreams, a boy can't really play her into staying into a relationship that she doesn't want anymore.

"We are done, Finn" Quinn laments and it's not out of their relationship, but what little happiness it brought to her that she just disconnects the call and smiles with relief.

Pressing the button, Quinn puts her phone off and throws it to the cushion beside her. 

She lays on the couch again and instantly falls asleep.

Dreams of nothing, but the possibilities are, at least, open enough to know something better will come.

* * *

  
  


The fourth time happens after she masturbates for the very first time in her life.

Certainly, it doesn't make sense.

Orgasms are supposed to take the edge off, Internet said it, Miss Holliday said it, even Santana alluded that a good orgasm would make her less _uptight,_ but there she is on her bed, staring at the ceiling with a hand under her pajama pants with a panic in her heart.

Jesus is truly making her pay for her sins, huh?

_"Well well well, what we got here"_

Quinn moves her eyes to the end of the bed and there is the demon with that ever present grin that puts her in a cold shiver.

_"Need a hand?"_ the spectrum mocks and Quinn closes her eyes tightly, of all the times to be having this encounter, of course, it happened now.

' _Go away' Quinn_ mutters in her mind.

" _Not now"_ the voice is near her now and Quinn swallows tightly as the whisper caresses down her ear, making her heart race faster " _Just when we are about to have fun"_ the sleep paralysis demon whispers.

' _Don't touch me' The_ blonde warns, but there is not enough of a threat present in her voice as she shivers.

She dares to open her eyes and back stare those eyes, they are deep endless black and Quinn pants against the coldness of the room.

They have never been this close and she can't be more freaked out by it ' _I wanna wake up'_ she thinks, closing her eyes tightly again ' _Please wake up'_

And with much surprise, Quinn does wake up from it.

" _Jesus"_ She mutters with a start, sitting on her bed and passing a hand through her hair, but then Quinn grimaces as she remembers where that hand was seconds ago.

_That's disgusting._

But that's what she gets for falling weak to a desire like the one she had after a cheerleading meeting where the captain of the other team dared to make direct eye contact with her after a particularly intense routine.

God, she's so gay, it's starting to affect more than her day to day.

* * *


End file.
